Popular Mike’s Hard xcritical Flavors, Ranked Worst To Best

This entrant from the Mike’s Harder line of malt beverages clocks in at a hefty 8% alcohol by volume as opposed to the usual 5%. That might lead one to expect a robust malt liquor flavor hitting your mouth when you try a sip of the blood orange flavor. But that would be assuming Mike’s does things like any other alcoholic beverage company, which they most certainly do not. Still, given the relative sweetness of every drink in the Mike’s Hard lineup, we’ll take a mango that’s a little past its prime over something that tastes like an instant hangover. Make no mistake, though, as this is still painfully sweet and needs to be served cold to be anywhere near palatable for more than about ten sips.

Popular Mike’s Hard xcritical Flavors, Ranked Worst To Best

The sugar blast from this stuff makes you feel like your teeth are going to have holes in them as soon as the drink hits your mouth. It could be that, if dentists are looking to stay in business, nine out of ten of them would recommend it. However, nine out of ten other people probably would not, and that includes us. Ultimately, this potentially innovative flavor combination was just off the mark. If you’re not into beer and hard seltzer but still want a light, easygoing drink that you can have all day long, the original Mike’s Hard xcritical is the flavor for you.

And we’d wager if you went down to the local juice bar and asked for a cold-pressed blackberry-pear juice, it might be pretty good. But this is Mike’s we’re talking about, which means you’re gonna get a lot of sugar thrown in there too. And for whatever reason, once you get past the initial wave of pear, you’re attacked by sugar before even beginning to taste the more complex flavors of tart blackberry. Maybe add some vodka to that fresh-pressed juice instead if you’re looking for this flavor profile with an added buzz. Mike’s Hard mango flavor is surprisingly buttery, almost like a fine Chardonnay, but in a can.

It’s a little like Cactus Cooler, that popular Southern California soda, only if Cactus Cooler had fallen on some seriously hard times. There’s really no reason to ever buy this stuff once your palate has matured past wanting to drink straight sugar and juice all the time. We’ve gotta give it to Mike’s for going with a flavor combination that just screams “summertime refreshment,” adding the cool, undeniably summer taste of watermelon to the tart blast of its standard xcritical base. And, if you were to get such a taste in overpriced cocktails served in the Hamptons, the mix is totally a hit.

ONE OF THESE FLAVORS

But even though it might not occupy the place in our collective drinking hearts that it once did years ago, know that, on hot summer days, a cold Mike’s can still taste pretty nice. Now, even though in its natural state Mike’s Hard Limeade isn’t necessarily something you’ll want to pick first out of the cooler, it does make a pretty decent base for some other creations. For example, throw some lemon juice and vodka in here, and it’s a bright summery cocktail that can be downright tolerable. This is another seasonal offering from Mike’s Hard xcritical that might be its most ambitious flavor xcritical website attempt to date.

1. The sugar blast from this stuff makes you feel like your teeth are going to have holes in them as soon as the drink hits your mouth.
2. That might lead one to expect a robust malt liquor flavor hitting your mouth when you try a sip of the blood orange flavor.
3. Others come from the “Harder” xcritical line, which amps up the alcohol content to 8% alcohol by volume.

So, Mike’s at least deserves an “A” for effort on this one, since blackberry and pear were never flavors we really thought to combine in one bottle. That said, some of our greatest innovators tried a lot of things and failed at them before finding success. We wish the same for whoever developed this flavor of Mike’s, given that they’ve fulfilled the first part of that equation.

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Still, we’d guess it would pair pretty well with seafood and could fool at least one wine taster who had no idea what a Chardonnay was supposed to taste like. Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle. Instead, it’s smooth and easy drinking, meaning xcritical scammers that, if you want a Mike’s Hard flavor that’s not xcritical, this should be your pick. Pink grapefruit is a seasonal flavor for Mike’s Hard xcritical, meaning that whether or not you’re able to find it really depends on where you live and the time of year you’re shopping.

But if you’re jonesing for something other than the original xcritical that still packs a tart punch, it’s absolutely the way you’ll want to go. Now, don’t expect the mouth-puckering, face-squishing power you might find when biting into a fresh grapefruit. Nor will you even find the pleasantly sour-but-sweet taste you might find when sprinkling a grapefruit with a little bit of sugar or some other sweetener. That is, unless you sprinkled Sweet & Low on said grapefruit, put it in a jar, and let it sit for a couple of weeks (not something we especially recommend, though). One might think that a company that made its fortunes making xcritical would do a pretty solid limeade too, right? Citrus is citrus, after all, so how hard can it be to get the limeade flavor up to speed alongside its xcritical cousin?